Sunday, May 30, 2004
The dress buying rant.
Well... tried to look for a dress for the friend's wedding next Sunday. UGH. Dresses suck.
First, I looked through my closet since I know I have a couple there. Granted, none of them have seen sunlight in, oh, many years as Pooh has been a jeans/pants girl for foreva. Am happy to report that there were a couple of old dresses I can still wear. Yay! Am very unhappy to report that they're either black or navy. Not sure if this wedding is hip enough for that. Also, am appalled to admit that some of these dresses? Holy fuck. What the hell was I thinking!
Second, went through sisters' things. And you know what? Sisters should be the same size in order to increase the capacity for clothes-sharing. There should be laws for this, people! 'Cuz both sisters are way more girlie than me and have way more dresses than me. Sadly, can not wear any of them, except maybe one, if I let out the straps she's cinched herself. But then, it's also kinda white and maybe, just maybe, a teeny bit see-through. Would have to definitely fix that, if desperate enough to borrow that one.
Third, went shopping, and now I have a couple of complaints.
1. Dressy dresses that don't have zippers and yet, are supposed to be "form-fitting." The ones that are made from stretchy fabric aren't nearly stretchy enough. Without zippers, you need to be a stick to get into those things. Grrr. If any portion of your body is even a teeny bit... curvier... than "stick," say hips or shoulders or what have you, there's a bit of squirming to get the dress past those areas. And then... after you've navigated the, erm, tighter areas, good luck going in reverse and getting the damn thing off. Of course, we could just buy one or two sizes larger and nip/tuck/cinch ourselves, but what's the point?
2. Where do you buy the normal looking dressy dresses? No, really. Everything I saw today was of the Fluff. Pastels. Small floral prints. Large floral prints. Frills. Ruffles. WHERE. ARE. THE. SIMPLE. SOLID-COLORED. DRESSES! *sob* I just want something classy and simple (and preferably long), dammit.
3. One week left to find a decent dress. And I still need to figure out shoes and accessories. Damn.It.
4. After trying on about 20 dresses, I kept coming back to the same conclusion: I look pretty damn cute in my jeans and shirt. Oh, and also: dresses have an annoying flaw of making me look bloated whereas my cute jeans and shirt make me look tiny. Why? Stupid laws of physics or gravity or girlie-girl-shit. So I've decided the really really cool weddings should allow jeans because I have really cute jeans and really cute shirts I could wear instead of an ugly fluffy flowery dress. In fact, I think when I get married, guests should feel welcome to come in their jeans if they want (but no wifebeaters, that's just tacky).
*cries* Dressing up sucks. SUCKS. Friend better damn well appreciate the things I'm trying to do for her. And this marriage better last, even though THEY'RE ALREADY MARRIED! That's rubbing it in Pooh's face, and double rubbing it in because they're asking her to get all girlied up this time. AND there better be some single cute guys there for me to pretend to be all all desperate and easy. (Shut up.)
|| posted by Pooh at 12:12 AM ... ||