Friday, May 28, 2004
Be forewarned: I feel like I'm rollercoaster moodswinging... in the down down down direction.
The random thunderstorm blitzes need to stop. Right now. Normally, I don't mind rain when it comes fast, loud, unpredictably and then stops. Kinda nice, actually. But after three days of it, it needs to go away. Not helping with the mood.
I thought I was getting better, but now I'm feeling all icky and squicky again. Most likely my punishment for playing hookie, even though it was totally sanctioned by TPTB. Dammit. Not happy. Or maybe it's because I've been eating nothing but simple, bland bland bland foods this week to appease the sore tummy, and what I really need is a Big Mac and fries, or a juicy steak, or ice cream and whipped cream or hell... even a salad. And a white chocolate mocha. Mmmm. (and NO frickin' jelly donuts) Doubly unhappy now.
The weird jetlag is fucking with me, and sleeping at odd hours is not helping. Nor is having Thing1 call me at 3pm from the Apple store, asking if I wanted my mini iPod, and sounding disturbingly chipper. Especially since I had only just woken up from my fucked up sleep cycle and was in a grumpy mood. This needs to stop. I need some kind of intervention to get my ass to bed at a reasonable hour and snap me out of these random funks.
And just to punctuate how screwy and upsetting it is to get normalized (or as close as to, depending on definition of "normal"), I told her not to get my mini iPod. WHAT?!? I wasn't in the mood to buy a toy? A toy I've been wanting for awhile? A toy I could have gloated about and fondled in sheer happiness? Sheeeeeeesh. I need someone to smack me over the head, shake me around a bit, and then smack me some more. 'Cuz I don't know what the heck is going on with me.
I need to stop thinking. Thinking hurts.
And everything feels the same but different, or different but the same. And what happened last week anyway? My mental processes are on a delayed jetlag, and it feels like there's a pod-everyone and a PodPooh and even her brain cells were tweaked. Ugh, that sounded sad, didn't it? Let's jump back to Before, please?
Also, I got all pissy at One the other day. That was wrong. *sob* *hug hug hug* (Argh, what's up with the hormonal stuff? *rolls eyes*) So, yeah, if I snapped at you, or will snap at you...
Well, whatever. Learn to deal with it. :P
The odd thing is: I was in a genuinely, ecstatically happy mood when I stepped off the plane and was ushered through Customs with a "welcome home." But now, home feels as slightly off as the other side of the world. :(
I miss the Happy. Where's the full-fledged, uncontrollable, fall-out-of-my-seat laughter? I miss the laughing. Sorry, randomness...
Ugh, even this entry is making me depressed. Going into the long weekend depressed is no good. Especially when I need to go dress shopping this weekend. In my mental state of disequilibrated blah (does that even sound right?), goodness knows what I'll pick up as an unconscious effort to spread my icky misery via a fugly, ugly, visual assault. Neon pink with lime green sequins, perhaps? Dear God! How long before the Happy again? *checks meds labels and liquor bottle* *squints* Is that... 2? 4? hours?
And on that happy note... Everyone enjoy your (long) Memorial Day weekend! Not sure if I'll be on too much as I attempt to conquer the screwy sleep habits and get my head readjusted. If you see me online after 2 am, um, after 3 am I mean, then please smap me. Hard. Thank you.
P.S. If you sat through this, I'm sorry. Next entry will be super chirpy!
|| posted by Pooh at 3:53 PM ... ||